Friday, March 6, 2009

stripes

today I wore a shirt with stripes. got me thinking of word association. when I say 'horizontal stripes' what comes to mind?

for me:
1. The Model
2. the French
2A. mimes
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do you remember The Model? the supremely Handsome One with the personality of dry bread? I saw him in the Dig this week. I can't reveal more about his identity. I will leave that up to a girl who actually knows him and eventually posts on sorry-mom. but I will say, the handful of times we hung out (a.k.a. ran into each other at the Pill) he was always wearing the horizontal stripes. why? I don't know.

do you ever think about your future threesome? Emma and I have an ongoing quest to find our third wheel. now there is a meaty piece we both have indepently hit on (FAIL). he's also handsome and akin to The Model, lacks the spread that dry bread requires. let's call him 'The Understudy' as he is not quite as attractive as The Model. everytime Emma and I see The Understudy, we lol about how boring that threesome would be. we'd bring the butter and jam. but he's still crumb-y.
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back to stripes.

Carrie is so French.
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as an 'undeclared' my freshman year of college, I took the career-placement test to see what would best suit my interests and personality. the results said I'd make a good mime. I am not even making this up. I guess sometimes I do really hate talking.
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but I hate being mocked and pointed-at more.

so, I wear my stripes hoping you think 'french' not 'mime'.
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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

To: Men | From: SPAM

Helpful dating tips from my SPAM folder.

Being macho is not about clothes - it's about size.
She will open her eyes when she sees your male pride.
She will stay by your side as long as you have that bulgy pride.
Give her double portion with your new proportion.
Now your girlfriend will never dare cheat on you.

It's poetry, really.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Fresh Granny Style

Hot looks inspired by Grandmas. Finally some recognition!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Please, do.

December 2008-Present, Hot Pants
Please use this pickup line: "Those pants are amazing. You should put them on your resume." Other acceptable adjectives are: hot, awesome, great, fabulous.

January 2009-March 2009, Hot Date
Please take a girl to see the Queen laser show at the Museum of Science. The Beatles show follows at a close second. I can see the allure of Pink Floyd, being pioneers of lasers and all, but be careful. Don't even think about U2. I'm strictly mentioning it as a warning.

Present-Future, Hot Flash
Please consider bringing a girl to a sporting event. She may surprise you with sweet throwback gear you forgot existed.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Life's Questions Answered

A major milestone was reached today. All the time I've spent over-analyzing any and every situation was a waste of time. I now hold in my hand the answer to all of life's mysteries.



Should I purchase a suede leather jacket?
"Signs point to yes"

Should I eat fried chicken tonight?
"Most likely"

Are indie girls easy?
"Cannot predict now"

I'll ask again later.

Friday, February 6, 2009